Mr. Throckmorton rubs 13 magic lamps found in his closet at his condominium in South Chicago; and, within 10 minutes, the Bluffer, a crosshair-shaped jinn with 5 billion spells created by sourching fire, first arrives.

"I am the genie of the lamp," says the Bluffer, "and I will grant you three wishes..."

Mr. Throckmorton tells the Bluffer, "For your info, Bluffer, what is my wish?"

"By the power of Wishaam's newly created cryptic spells, my aim is to bluff my ability to transform you into objects of conspiracy and human confrontation."

O.K., Bluffer. I will attempt to grant 10 wishes."

The Bluffer says, "Make a wish!"

"I wish I am a gattling gun."